Steve Oke Chapchap MarketJune 7, 2019No Comments
8 Things To Try In The Bedroom That Will Make 2019 Unforgettable
While everyone’s dusting off their “go to the gym more often,” “travel more,” and “nail down that promotion” resolutions that get trotted out every year, here’s a novel idea: Why not come up with some sex resolutions?
There’s no actual truth to that old saying that men think about sex every seven or eight seconds, but if we’re all being honest with each other, there’s a good chance you’ll spend a lot of time this year thinking about sex and its adjacent subjects. (If you’re asexual or demisexual or for any reason don’t plan to think about sex much this year, that’s fine too!)
But for those of us for whom our sex lives are an important consideration, it’s worth taking at least a little bit seriously. Considering how much space sex can occupy in our lives between pursuing it, having it, thinking about it, watching videos of other people having it, and so forth — and how much of an impact good sex (or the absence thereof) can have on our overall sense of self — it makes sense to try to think about it in a bit more of a conscious way.
So with that in mind, here are some sex resolutions for 2019. Some — or maybe all of these — won’t feel right for you for one reason or another, and that’s fine. But if any of these resonates with you, why not make it something to work on this year?
Try Something You’ve Been Meaning to Try
Whether it’s a threesome, anal sex, sex in public, having a one-night stand or something else entirely, finally getting to do something you’ve been dreaming about can be not only incredibly fulfilling, it can also simply be a way to realize that the sex you’ve been having already is pretty good after all. Sometimes, the power of our fantasies lies more in how we imagine them than in their being realized.
As for how to actually accomplish them, that one might be a little trickier. It’ll depend on a lot of different factors, but if you set out to make something happen and tell yourself it’s possible, you might be surprised by what you can accomplish. Whether that means opening up to a partner, signing up for a dating site, finally asking your crush out or buying a sex toy, taking your desire seriously and working backward from there might be all you need to do to make your dreams come true.
Try Something Your Partner’s Been Meaning to Try
If you’re in a long-term relationship or you’re sleeping with someone who feels comfortable telling you about their sexual fantasies, try asking them if there’s anything they want to try. Depending on how closely it aligns with your own desires, it could range from being a dream experience or a bit of a struggle.
Most likely it’ll be somewhere in the middle, but being the type of person who helps others fulfill their sexual dreams is worth its weight in gold. Just think: If not for those types of people, you wouldn’t be getting a chance to realize your fantasies, either.
Have an Honest Conversation About Kink With a Partner
This kind of thing can feel incredibly scary for a lot of people. If you were taught that sex is bad, dirty, sinful or otherwise something to feel ashamed of, being open and honest about what turns you on might be something you struggle with.
It can be easy to fall into a pattern of silence and waiting rather than admitting how you feel. In 2019, if there’s a desire that feels illicit or taboo but that is a central part of your fantasies, consider opening up about it to your partner.
Quit (or Cut Down on) Porn
There’s nothing wrong with porn conceptually, but the sex you see in adult films is a narrow and distorted version of what actual sex is like. The participants tend to look and be groomed in very similar ways, the storylines hew to similar beats, and a lot of what goes on is meant to look good rather than feel good.
Meaning, if you’re watching a lot of porn you might be losing touch a little bit with what it’s like to have sex with another human being who has their own body and their own desires.
If you ever feel uncomfortable about how much porn you’re watching, maybe 2019 is the year you experiment with quitting watching porn. If not altogether, then perhaps just for a little while, or just holding yourself to a certain number of times or time limit per week.
Have More Sex
Rare is the guy who complains that he’s having too much sex. If you’re one of the many feeling like he’s simply not seizing the day (or night), maybe 2019 is the year you try to come into your own as a sexual being.
Rejection is definitely a daunting thing, but if you can push yourself a little bit, you’ll realize that getting rejected a few times isn’t a sign that you’re undesirable or disgusting or hopeless — it’s simply a byproduct of being someone who’s trying to succeed.
So ask people on dates! Sign up for dating sites or hookup apps! Just put yourself out there a little bit more and see what happens! The world is full of horny people looking to have their fantasies fulfilled. With a little confidence and effort, you could be the person fulfilling some of them.
Have Less Sex
If you’re in a position where you’re having a non-zero amount of sex and you can confidently say that’ll continue in 2019, congratulations! However, it’s worth considering that, as with all kinds of behaviors, sometimes people use sex as a means of covering up deeper emotional problems or issues.
Maybe you’re hurting from a breakup, lonely, or simply bored and unfulfilled. Seeking out sex with new partners can be incredibly thrilling, but it can also be a Band-Aid solution, and if you’re treating these partners like a means to an end rather than as real people, the chances that someone gets hurt are high.
Because of the way men are socialized to see sexual prowess as proof of manliness and power, it can be hard for a guy to take a step back from sex. But in this year, it’s worth considering taking a step back from having hookups left, right, and center for a bit and contemplating who you are — and how you feel — without them.
Buy and/or Use a Sex Toy
Most likely you got your start masturbating using just your hand — or perhaps something within arm’s reach in your bed. Regardless, sex toys aren’t necessarily the first thing you think of when it comes to sexual pleasure.
But humans evolved to use tools in other aspects of their lives for a reason. Just as you wouldn’t use your hand as a hammer, it’s worth acknowledging that whether giving or receiving pleasure, sex toys can do certain things better than we can. In 2019, try buying a sex toy and seeing what it’s like, whether you’re using it on yourself, a partner, or both. (At the very, very least you should buy some lube.)